Our attachment style does stay with us into our adult relationships, so if we have an insecure attachment style, maintaining a healthy relationship can be challenging. Awareness of our particular style is the first step.
The secure attachment style core beliefs say "I am worthy of love, I am capable of getting the love and support I need, and Others are willing and able to love me."
Ambivalent attachment style says "I am not worthy of love, I am not capable of getting the love and support I need without being angry and clingy, others are capable of meeting my needs but might not do so because of my flaws, others are trustworthy and reliable but might abandon me because of my worthlessness."
The avoidant believes "I am worthy of love, I am capable of getting the love and support I need, others are either unwilling or incapable of loving me, and others are not trustworthy; they are unreliable when it comes to meeting my needs."
A disorganized style says, "I am not worthy of love, I am not capable of getting the love I need without being angry and clingy, others are unable to meet my needs, others are not trustworthy or reliable, others are abusive and I deserve it." This style often comes from a history of abuse and neglect.
We were created for relationship. When our primary relationships lead to insecure attachment styles, relationships that are healthy are hard to find even though it is what we all search for. But there is a lot of hope. Your attachment style CAN change and you CAN have rewarding, secure, healthy relationships. It may take a little work or a lot of work, but it can be done.